Disclaimer

This blog contains my thoughts and ideas. Often I will be writing about the Bible and I wish it to be known that when I do I will be interpreting it as I see it. I hope that everyone who reads this will check the Bible out for themselves and not take what I say as the correct interpretation. I am only human and make mistakes like anyone else. Only the Holy Spirit is capable of leading a person to to the truth of what the Bible means. For each of us must have an individual relationship with each member of the trinity and work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.

Philippians 2:11-13 (King James Version)
11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father
12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What Will Your Children Remember?


I recall a story about a couple who brought home an elderly father who spilled his food at the table, breaking the dishes in the process. The couple became agravated by it and moved the father to a separate table with wooden dishes. Later the couples young child was discovered making a wooden bowl and when asked what he was doing he told his parents that he was making dishes for them for when they got old. Realizing what they were teaching their child they moved the father back to the family table.

I also recall a song about a little boy asking his father to do various things with him throughout his young life and the father replying that he was busy but that he would get to it later. When the child grew to adulthood the roles were reversed and the father would ask the child to do something with him but now the son had his excuses and would tell the father later.

When I was raising my children there were a lot of times when my mother and I were estranged, most often by her choice. Looking back I cannot help but wonder if my children realized that. Still, whenever she was speaking to me and when we lived close enough to do so, we visited quite often. There were times when we lived with her. The same goes for my in-laws.

Now that my children are grown with children of their own we are estranged by their choice. I do not see or hear from them. Do not see or hear from my grandchildren. I began wondering if this is what I taught them by my actions when they were young as to how to treat ones elders? And I wonder what they are teaching my grandchildren about how to treat them when they are old and their children are grown? I wonder if I did not give them enough of my time when they were young? Did I put them and their interest's or needs off until later?

Will my children also go for years without seeing or hearing from their children or grandchildren? Will they never spend a holiday or birthday with their grandchildren as I have never spent one with some of mine? Will they experience the abuse and neglect from their children that I have experienced? Will their grandchildren witness these things as mine have witnessed it?

What will your children remember? What are you teaching them? What are your grandchildren being taught by your children?

Please pray for me and my family. And please be aware of what you are teaching your children by your actions toward the elderly in your family. Be aware of what you are teaching your children by the way you treat them and the time you spend with them.

And please pray for my two new grandchildren who were born sometime around the 12th of this month as best as I can figure. I have no information other than that they have been born.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Making Do On Mother's Day

It amazes me sometimes the way that God has of filling in the empty places in our lives. I see it so very often and sometimes it is so common in my life that I almost miss it when it happens. I am so thankful for the Holy Spirits promting that makes sure that I am aware of it so that I am able to pick myself up out of dark places when I really need it.

Dysfunctional families are so commonplace that many people are effected by them and there are so very many people that need someone in their lives to fill a spot that is left empty by a dysfunctional family member. Some folks need a mother figure or a father figure for parents that just aren't there for them. Others have need of a sister or brother figure to replace those that are absent by choice or because of their inability to deal with family dynamics. And some need young people in their live to take the place of children who have opted out of their parents lives because they have chosen to live in dysfunctional relationships or to become responsible adults.

Today is a very difficult day for me and has been for a long time as are all holidays since my children are estranged from me. Being a mother does not stop when a child reaches adulthood and standing by ones convictions with adult children all too often leads to division of the family. That is what has occurred in my family. My children would prefer to avoid me because I refuse to bend the rules I live by for them now that they are grown. They think that I should now change the way I believe, not speak up for the things I believe to keep peace with them because they wish to live differently than the way they were raised. They think that I should condone what they do and how they do it. I find that I simply cannot do that, especially when the things they do effect the lives of my grandchildren.

But back to the subject at hand. Here in the Nursing Home I have found many, many beloved people who have taken me into their hearts. Some of them have similar situations to mine. I have a very large family here, many young people who call me mom and who love me like a mom. Young women who have mothers who are not there for them. They come to me and talk to me about things that young women talk to their moms about. One young lady came to me hurting because of something her real mom had done and I told her that sometime we have to learn to be content with the family that God gives us in place of our real ones that have drifted away from us.

The past few days I have been really depressed knowing that today was coming and that I would not hear from either of my kids. My daughter and I used to be very close but she has allowed other to come between us, believing their half-truths because it was convienient for her to do so. She has chosen to live a lifestyle she knows I don't approve of, one that is detrimental to my grandchildren and rather than grow up and become a responsible adult and parent she would prefer to allow others to abuse me and then believe their lies about me to blame me and shove me out of her and my grandchildrens lives. My son is married to a woman who has no use for anyone but those in her own family and he has allowed her to keep him and their children from everyone in our family pretty much. I have yet to spend a holiday with my grandsons and the oldest turned 12 in December and I have spent only 1 birthday with one of them.

So for the past few days I have been hibernating, sleeping, dreading the coming of this day as I have for years. Then one of my girls came in and handed me a present. This is the girl whose mother hurt her so badly. I unwrapped the present and it was a small plaque that reads as follows:

Mother

Your heart is always filled with love
For everyone you know
You ask so little for yourself
You reap less than you sow

It's time your goodness is proclaimed
For all the world to hear
There is no Mother more beloved
Than you, my Mother dear.


I guess I need to learn to be content with what God has provided as well. For truly I am loved